06:45 pm
Hottest. Betrayal. Ever.
From the Department of “Don’t They Have More Important Things to Worry About?”
A Russian Communist group has attacked the newest Bond girl, Olga Kurylenko, for her “moral and intellectual betrayal” in starring in a film about the “enemy of the Soviet people.” Ukrainian-born Kurylenko, 28, stars in the new James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, alongside English actor Daniel Craig.
“In the name of all communists we appeal to you, Olga Kurylenko, wanton daughter of unclean Ukraine and deserter of the Slavic world. The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you, and brought you up for free, but no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal,” the St. Petersburg-based KPLO group’s statement read, going on to call James Bond “the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies.”. . .
“Your peers are engaged in struggles against NATO and you lounge around on the Cote d’Azur. How could you desert your homeland in its moment of need? Do you really want Crimean girls to be raped by cruel and stupid American marines?” the statement also read. “Do you know what they did with women who welcomed the occupiers in the Great Patriotic War? Where is your patriotism?” the statement also read. It was signed by a number of communist local MPs and party members.
In the spirit of research, I went to The Googles to determine just how smokin’ hot serious this young woman’s crimes are.
Okay, not bad. You gotta admire the whole wearing-pumps-and-a-little-black-dress-while-trying-to-kill-people-in-the-middle-of-the-desert thing. She’s not tattooed UN Goodwill Ambassador smokin’ hot dangerous, but still. . .
Ahem. Where was I? Oh, yes, Commies hating traitors. Sorry.
Just two comments about these nutjobs.
- They do know that James Bond is a fictional character, right? And that nobody actually dies, that it’s all special effects?
- Unclean Ukraine? Is that the Russian version of Communist Virginia? Not exactly a vote getter, there, guys. But then again, they don’t believe that Ukraine is a real country, do they?
In case you were wondering who these raving loonies proud patriots are, KPLO stands for Communist Petersburg-Leningrad Organization:
We are the second most active and the influence Communist Party in St. Petersburg - Leningrad after the regional Communist Party. . . .What is it about our association and the socio-economic changes we believe necessary for our society? You can simply say that we are the same Communists, as the Communist Party, only better: modern, younger, fun, creative.
Because there’s nothing that says modern, younger, creative, and fun-loving like calling an up-and-coming actress a traitorous trollop. So what do these proud heirs of Joseph Stalin look like?
Oh. My. God. They’re Communist nerds. Between these six proud party members, I’m guessing they’ve had three, maybe four dates. And the guy with the Stalin picture and the beret? Worst. Chick. Magnet. Ever. Something tells me these guys spend a lot of time playing Gulags and Hedgehogs Dungeons and Dragons in their mothers” basements.
I’m sorry guys, but anyone who would rather look at a picture of this guy instead of a picture of this woman needs to get out of the house a bit more.
Hat tip: Passport