09:45 am
Diplospeak Translator: The Condi and The Sarahnator
Over the weekend, CNN asked Condoleezza Rice, U.S. Secretary of State, scratch golfer, and yet-to-be-indicted war criminal, whether she thought Sarah Palin had the experience to be Vice President. Watch:
Time for the Diplospeak Translator™!
QUESTION: [Do you think Governor Palin has the experience to be Vice President?]
THE CONDI: I thought that Sarah Palin gave a terrific speech, and not to get into the politics of it. She’s a governor of a state here in the United States and she spoke very well.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: Nope. Not even close. Even I can’t lie that convincingly, and I’m the freaking liar-in-chief.
QUESTION: Does she have the kind of experience to handle the things you need to handle?
THE CONDI: These are decisions that Senator McCain has made. I have great confidence in him. I’m not going to get involved in this political campaign. As the Secretary of State, I don’t do that. But I thought her speech was wonderful.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: Are you kidding me? I have more experience in my big toe than she has. Nope, nada, nyet. Give me a minute and I’ll come up with “no” in ten other languages, none of which Sarah Palin has freaking even heard of.
QUESTION: But a lot of Republicans are also saying that she just lacks the experience. I mean you can dispatch Vice President Cheney to deal with Ukraine and Georgia but Sarah Palin just won’t be able to handle it.
THE CONDI: There are different kinds of experiences in life that help one to deal with matters of foreign policy.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: I can’t believe that McCain has made He Whose Name Must Not Be Uttered look good in comparison. And I can’t believe that most people think that dealing with the PTA is the same as going face-to-face with Gadhafi, Hu Jintao, or Putin.
At least we now know why The Condi got sent to Libya in the middle of the Republican National Convention.
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