Once again, I have to give props to the North Koreans.  Kim Jong “License to” Il and friends may represent the worst dictatorship in the world, but when it comes to propaganda, few can rival them.  We’ve already taken a look at their propaganda posters; today, we’ll look at their mass display card rallies.

If you thought the opening and closing ceremonies at the Beijing Olympics were scarily impressive, wait until you see what the North Koreans can do.  There’s a reason Chinese director Zhang Yimou mindlessly worships their precision.  The only problem, of course, is that it comes at a small cost:  a destroyed country, mass starvation, torture, cruelty, and a bats**t crazy supreme leader.

A few weeks ago, I ran across the work of freelance photographer Eric Lafforgue, who recently traveled to North Korea to document conditions there.  Eric has kindly allowed me to reproduce some of his work here.  Please keep in mind, however, that all these photos are ©Eric Lafforgue, and should not be reproduced without his permission.

The following photos all examples of something called “mass games” or “mass gymnastics.”  From Wikipedia:

Mass games or mass gymnastics are a form of performing arts or gymnastics in which large numbers of performers take part in a highly regimented performance that emphasizes group dynamics rather than individual prowess. Because of the vast scale of the performance, with often tens of thousands of performers, mass games are performed in stadiums, often accompanied by a background of card-turners occupying the seats on the opposite side from the viewers. Mass games are typically used to emphasize themes of political propaganda. . . .

Today, mass games are regularly performed only in North Korea, where they take place to celebrate national holidays such as the birthdays of rulers Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il. In recent years, they have been the main attraction of the Arirang Festival in Pyongyang.

The following images are from this year’s Ariang Festival, which took place on September 12, 2008.  Keep in mind that those little black dots in each photo are actually the kids’ heads.

Eric:  “Food crisis?  What food crisis?”

Eric: “Legend says that Kim Il Sung, using the two pistols inherited from his father, founded the Anti-Japanese People’s Guerrilla Army (AJPGA), the first of its kind in Korean history, in April Juche 21 (1932). So if you visit North Korea, you will see many images of these two pistols.”

Eric:  “The photo shows 100,000 people performing a choreographed dancing and gymnastics routine on the pitch of Pyongyang’s May Day stadium.  In the background, 20,000 performers flip colored cards to form detailed pictures. . . .This picture is supposed to be Pyongyang at night, which is funny because Pyongyang at night is dark.”

Thanks once again to Eric for giving me permission to reproduce his amazing photos.  Please remember that all photos are ©Eric Lafforgue.  Be sure to check out Eric’s entire photostream — it’s pretty remarkable.  You can find the North Korea photos here.

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Every once in a while I somehow manage to beat everyone else to a story.  That happened two days ago when I speculated about whether Kim Jong “Licensed to” Il[l] was dead.  Maybe reading my story is what gave him the stroke.

I want to assure you that it wasn’t a case of good reporting.  It was pure dumb luck.

Jeffrey over at Arms Control Wonk is having a lot of fun with the report, uncovering further evidence that Kim is dead:

I understand if you play the Korean National Anthem backwards, you can hear Hu Juntao say “I buried Kim”

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Recently, there have been a number of media reports that tyrannical megalomaniac Dear Leader Kim Jong “Licensed to” Il is sick.  He hasn’t been seen in public for nearly three weeks, and according to some sources he is suffering from both diabetes and heart disease.

I have some good news and some bad news for all you North Korea groupies out there.

The good news is that Kim isn’t sick.

The bad news is that he’s dead.

Or at least that’s what one political scientist thinks:

[A] book by Japan’s Professor Toshimitsu Shigemura at Japan’s respected Waseda University says Kim died in the autumn of 2003 and a series of stand-ins have since taken his place at official state event.  Prof. Shigemura says Kim was not seen in public for the 42 days after September 10, 2003, and in his book “The True Character of Kim Jong Il” claims the man that North Koreans refer to as the “Dear Leader” died of diabetes. . . .

[In August 2003], suddenly, Kim disappeared, says Shigemura, and there was chaos in the upper echelons of the country’s leadership. . . .After Kim’s death, a group of four very senior officials in the regime decided to protect their own positions by making the stand-in more permanent. Whenever anyone meets the North Korean leader, Shigemura says one of the four is alongside him “like a puppet-master.”

This is going to screw up my Axis of Evil fantasy league.

Maybe we should start calling him Dearly Departed Leader.  Or Kim Jong Nil.

Image:  Wikipedia, in the public domain.

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Okay, not technically photoshop, but its Darwinian ancestor:  the propaganda poster.

You gotta love the North Koreans.  They’re not only the kings of robotic precision and the heroes of Zhang Yimou, but also gold medalists in over-the-top cheesy propaganda.  You just don’t find many good agitprop posters anymore, so I appreciate their careful conservation of the art form.

The California Literary Review has put together a small collection of some of the best worst examples.

My initial reaction?  I wouldn’t want the drugs these guys are taking.

“Let’s Drive Out the Imperialists and Reunite the Fatherland!”

(Note the cross on one soldier and Nazi-era cap on the other.)

“Wicked Man”

(Sounds like the name of a good Warren Zevon tune.)

“Let’s extensively raise goats in all families!”

(Really.  Trust me.  I mean why would I photoshop a goat?)

“Though the dog barks, the procession moves on!”

(Sounds like a Zen koan, not North Korean propaganda.)

“When provoking a war of aggression, we will hit back, beginning with the US!”

(Winner of the Noam Chomsky prize for 9/11 sensitivity.)

And now my favorite.  I’m thinking of using it for my screen-saver:

“Do not forget the US imperialist wolves!”

Ah yes, the ol’ dropping the baby down the well trope.  Talk about an overused propaganda cliché — the British had German soldiers dropping babies down wells over ninety years ago.  Come on, Kim Jong “Licensed to” Il, you don’t need to borrow from imperialist propaganda to remain on top!

I do have one question, though.  How did they get Telly Savalas to pose for the painting?  The soldier looks like Telly in The Dirty Dozen, down to the half crazed look.  Think I’m kidding?  Just take a look:

One other bit of art criticism:  if you’re going to drop a baby down the well, wouldn’t it make more sense to point your machine gun at the baby?

Hat tip:  Passport

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Okay boys and girls, time for the Diplospeak Translator!  Today, we’re featuring remarks by The Condi during her press availability yesterday.

These took place after the “Informal Six-Party Ministerial,” which is apparently what we call meetings with Axis of Evil member new strategic partner North Korea.  Because if they were formal, The Condi would have to get a dress and a corsage and everything, and Kim Jong Il would show up in one of those really hideous powder-blue polyester tuxes from the 1970s.  And nobody wants that.

So here’s what she had to say:

Read the rest of this entry »

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