08:17 pm
Un-Bauer-able: The Return of “24″
So Jack Bauer, America’s favorite torturer and all around sociopath, is back!
Jack will spend the next 24 hours in the fictional African country of Sangala “saving the children” from what looks like a vicious child soldier-recruiting rebel. That, of course, will make up for all the horrible stuff he’s done in the past.
So the new and improved Jack. . .
- is now killing caricatures of Africans rather than caricatures of Arabs;
- doesn’t have to worry about beating the hell out of people because he’s in Africa, which of course doesn’t have laws or something;
- can shoot people while standing in the middle of a crowded African street and not worry about hitting innocents;
- loves the kids, even if it means having to shoot people in front of them;
- cannot, even with all his powers, get a nasty American official to open the damn gate.
Wait a second. Wasn’t last year supposed to be Bauer’s redemption? Didn’t they even name it “24: Redemption”? How many times can this guy be redeemed? Will next year be “24: Jack Gets an Indulgence from Pope Innocent IX”?
Instead of “24: Exile,” They should just call it what it is: “24: We Know the Whole Torturing Arabs Thing Doesn’t Seem to Be Working Anymore.”
Of course, rehabilitation of Wacko Jacko doesn’t mean that the producers have completely abandoned their neoconservative conspiracy theorist ways: Bauer refuses to return to Washington to testify before a Senate committee investigating his past crimes, and it looks like one of the villains, as Diplopundit notes, is the most officious, insensitive foreign service officer in history. He not only hates Jack, he hates the children. The bastard.
My only hope is that this storyline will so bore the hell out of the American people that they will flee from “24: Exile” like. . .well, like everyone flees from Jack Bauer whenever he pulls out a gun.
Then, at last, our long national prime time nightmare finally will be over.
UPDATE: This is actually from Charlie, not Chris. Not quite sure how that happened, but I can’t change it.