Editor’s note:  given Rich Lowry is no longer thinking with his big head, we at Undiplomatic thought we’d do him a favor and write one of his posts.

Wasn’t Sarah Palin brilliant last night?  I mean, she was able to form complete sentences, and occasionally a full paragraph without even looking at her cliff notes!   And boy was she spunky! I love that in a woman. Such a strong, folksy, presence, too.  I just loved the way she kept ignoring the question asked and saying whatever she wanted to.  So unscripted, so spontaneous!  I could not believe how good she was!

And the winking?  I just melted.  She was sending little starbursts through the screen and right into my heart.  She’s more sparkly than William F. Buckley covered in glitter!

I mean, winks don’t lie, do they?

Do they?  Please?

Oh. God.  I can’t take it any more.  Just thinking about that red dress and those glasses sends a shudder up my leg.  Rowr!  Grab me by the throat, baby.  You know that I like it that way.

(breaks in to a falsetto, starts singing)

Sar-ah.
Just look at that red light.
Obama’s days are over,
You’re a hero to us on the right.

Sar-ah.
You just put on that red dress tonight
Sell your soul for Johnny
And don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right.

Whoops.  Did I just sing that out loud?  Oh well.  It’s not like I had any journalistic credibility left to shred.

Sarah I love you!  You’ve got it, girl.  You light up my sad pathetic little life with such sweet starbursts of joy!  Let me bear your child!  We can call him Banana Duct-tape Slayer Palin!  Anything!  Just don’t deny me you dazzling sparkling effervescent, mezmerizing babealicious personality anymore!

I can’t believe that other people don’t see what I see.  Come on, people do your homework.  Sarah is much smarter than you think she is.

I should know — she winked at me — at me!

Siiiiiigh.

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