10:45 am
Diplospeak Translator: The Condi in Crawford
I think The Condi has been spending too much time down on the ranch with Dubya. Yes, I know she just got back from a whirlwind trip and everything, but sheesh, it’s like she caught a case of the Cold Warrior pneumonia and the malapropism flu.
Yesterday, she spoke to the press after briefing her husband the commander-in-chief. Time to break out the Diplospeak Translator. Once again, we bring you only the choicest cuts.
THE CONDI: I think everybody understands that Russia had a choice to make over the last several years, and it was a choice that should have been opened to Russia, which was a choice to act in a 21st-century way, fully integrate into the international institutions. I think it’s very much worthwhile to have given Russia that chance.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: It really stinks that they followed our lead in ignoring international institutions like the United Nations and the International Criminal Court. Didn’t they hear the part where we said, “do as we say, not as we do”?
THE CONDI: Now, I think the behavior recently suggests that perhaps Russia has not taken that route, and either that they have not taken that route or that they would like to have it both ways — that is, that you behave in a 1968 way toward your small neighbors by invading them and, at the same time, you continue to integrate into the political and diplomatic and economic and security structures of the international community. And I think the fact is, you can’t have it both ways.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: As opposed to behaving in a 2003 way, where you invade small countries on the other side of the world while continuing to dismantle the political and diplomatic and economic and security structures of the international community. There’s a big difference — as soon as I can figure out what it is, I’ll let you know.
THE CONDI: Now, we’ll take our time; we’ll evaluate. But already, the consequences for Russia of its behavior is that it has rallied people to — against them, and many of the small states, which were once captive nations, have rallied to the side of Georgia. That in and of itself is a very different circumstance than we might have faced several decades ago.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: Is the Cold War on again? Pretty please? Because I spent half my freaking life studying the Russkies and haven’t been able to contribute anything useful for about twenty years.
THE CONDI: I have to assume for now that the word of the President of Russia to the presidency of the EU is going to be respected.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, I’m killing myself here.
THE CONDI: The Georgians have very often offered substantial autonomy to these two regions. We have pressed very hard for there to be recognition of minority rights in these regions. So there’s a lot of groundwork that has been laid here, but what has to happen now, when these international discussions intensify over the next period of time after this — after the cease-fire is in place, is that it all has to proceed from where it proceeded from before, which is the territorial integrity of Georgia be respected; that these regions, as the President just said, are within the internationally recognized boundaries of Georgia; and that the Security Council resolutions, which have been passed numerous times, will be respected. And there will have to be a negotiated solution on that basis.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: Please, please, please please don’t mention Kosovo.
REPORTER: But Russia has said explicitly that they are not prepared to return to the status quo. I mean, how do you get around that?
THE CONDI: Well, then, Russia would be in violation of extant Security Council resolutions.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: You know, just like they said we were doing back in 2003.
REPORTER: I mean, is there really serious discussion about kicking them out of the G8, or is there really serious discussion about the WTO?
THE CONDI: We’ll take our time and look at further consequences for what Russia has done. But I would just note that there are already consequences. There has been universal concern within the European Union, the United States, et cetera, about the way Russia has done this. I think that you will start to see reports come out about what Russian forces engaged in.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: Look! Over there! Human rights violations! Whew! I wasn’t sure that old trick still worked given everything we’ve done in Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib and elsewhere.
THE CONDI: The — already you have the states that are — were former captive nations, like Poland, the Baltic states, even states like Ukraine speaking out against this kind of behavior.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: I knew if we kept banging that old captive nations drum, it would become useful again. And what a perfect regurgitation of Cold War rhetoric! Ah, I feel complete again.
THE CONDI: [I]t’s not just talk, it is about Russia’s standing in the international community. I want to go back to the point. In 1968, when the Soviet Union invaded Czechoslovakia, it occupied the capital, overthrew the government, and paid no consequence. And one reason it paid no consequence is that the Soviet Union actually didn’t care about its status in the international system. It didn’t want to be member of the WTO; it didn’t want to be in the OECD; it didn’t want to be seen as a responsible player in international politics.
DIPLOSPEAK TRANSLATOR: In 2003, when we invaded Iraq, occupied the capital, and overthrew the government, we had no idea we would still paying for it more than five years later. And nothing annoys us more than seeing someone else get away with something we tried to do ourselves.
Loading ...