Watch out, Iran:  your Photoshop Dream Team has a new challenger:  the Chinese, who are determined to wrest the gold medal from your angry jihadist hands.

First came the government’s use of digitally created fireworks during the opening ceremony:

While the dramatic display actually happened as portrayed on television, members of the Beijing Olympic Committee said it was necessary to replace live video with computer-generated imagery because the city’s hazy, smoggy skies made it too difficult to see, according to The Beijing Times, which first reported the story.

Now the netroots (bambooroots?) are getting into the act.  But unlike the government, the current obsession is not fireworks, but fake movie posters.  The site Mop has a number of examples, headlining its post (as translated by Chinasmack) “China Olympic Team posters, extreme lightning, extremely charred, If it does not knock you down, it is not lightning!!!!”

Designers have borrowed from both American and Chinese films, and clearly there are favorite athletes and themes.  The most popular is Yao Ming and the Chinese team beating the American “Redeem Team” (whoopsie!):

Hancock

Saving Private Ryan

Kung Fu Dunk (a 2008 Chinese film in the tradition of Shaolin Soccer)

If I were Yao Ming, I’m not sure I’d be happy about this one:

Shrek 2 or Shrek 3

The same applies to two other members of the team, Yi Jian Lian and Cheng Jia Hua:

Dumb and Dumber

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Another popular theme is the ineptitude of the Chinese Olympic soccer team:

Death Sentence (a 2007 Kevin Bacon film)

According to China Smack, the poster’s translation reads

You killed the football fan’s heart.
Death Sentence

10 years ago when I saw China’s team lose, I wanted to die.
5 years ago when I saw China’s team lose, I lost hope.
Now, even if the China team dies, I will pretend I did not see.
I no longer have a dream.

A second poster mocks perhaps the most infamous moment for China so far in these games, when a member of the Chinese team, Tan Wangsong, kicked a Belgian player in the crotch, receiving a red card for his efforts:

I have no idea what movie, if any this is copying, but the tagline on Mop reads, according to Yahoo’s Babel Fish translator, “The foot becomes famous; the ball becomes famous.”  Heh.

A third popular subject is Liu Xiang, China’s star 110m hurdler:

Spiderman 2

Last but not least, my favorite, which is about an American, not Chinese star:

The inclusion of the Water Cube is an especially nice touch.

Big hat tip to Chinasmack for pointing me to the Mop site and providing some of the translations.

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