07:00 am
Don’t Vote for a Democrat (Brickalott Prize Winner)
We have the first winner of the coveted Bricker-Lott Prize — awarded to those who use global issues to advance partisan ends. Chances are you haven’t heard of our honoree — I certainly had not.
But before we get to him, a brief story: a few years back, Molly and I went to see the author Carl Hiaasen speak. Someone in the audience asked if he had ever come across real life situations that were just too bizarre to be convincing fiction. Hiaasen laughed, said yes, and proceeded to tell some hilarious stories not suitable for this blog.
But the thing I most remember is what he said next: he used to have trouble convincing people that Florida is even stranger real life than what he portrays in his novels, but that after the 2000 election he really didn’t have that problem anymore.
I can attest to the truth of what Hiaasen had to say: I’m from Florida. It’s where crazy goes to retire and insanity take a holiday.
So what does any of this have to do with the Brickalott Prize? Well, let me put it this way: you’re about to be introduced to yet another fine example of Florida home cookin’.
Meet Mike Meehan.
He looks like a regular sort of guy.
It turns out that Mike is a singer-songwriter, just like Bobby Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, and John Mellencamp. Except, of course, he hates Democrats:
The Republican Song title is actually “Please Don’t Vote For a Democrat.” The song was written, played, sung, produced, and recorded by myself. I claim to be a man of God and like millions of others, I love this great nation, “The United States of America.”
I wrote this song to encourage and motivate as many people as possible not to vote for a “Democrat” in the 2008 Presidential Election.
So of course I watched the video produced by this fine upstanding citizen. Within minutes, I wanted to scratch my eyes out vote for John McCain.
I was so impressed that I planned on sharing it with all of you. Unfortunately, Osama Obama did something to it, I couldn’t get it embedded. I blame the Democrats.
So instead, I’ll just share the lyrics. Prepare to vomit be impressed:
The Democrat secular progressive move, political correctness is killing us too.
They want to take the money from the hard workin’ man, and give it to the lazy folks that don’t give a damn.CHORUS
Democrats and Liberals, shame on you,
don’t punish us all just to please a few,
Your holdin people back while we’re pickin up the slack,
and that’s why we can’t vote for a Democrat.
Oh no, a no, no, no, no, no, no…
Oh no, a no, no, no, no, no, nooo…
Yeah, your holding people back, while we’re pickin up the tax,
Oh no, no please don’t vote for a Democrat.Now we’re trying to win a war and wipe out the terrorists, we’re not fightin for oil we got plenty if we drill it.
But the liberals and the media are spreading their lies, get the hell out of our way and let our soldiers fight.[CHORUS]
Republicans, we’re not perfect but we know the truth. We uphold the Constitution and the Golden Rule.
We believe a mans freedom is a God given right, the USA is the beacon to the whole world in sight.[CHORUS]
Our Constitution, Nation and God are under attack. Oh no, please, oh no please, don’t vote for a Democrat.
My favorite line is “Oh no, a no, no, no, no, no, no,” because that’s just what I was screaming singing when I watched the video.
And THANK GOD that, as Mike says, Republicans are upholding the Constitution — because last I heard, some terrorist Democrat named Bush was setting the Bill of Rights on fire, allowing people to be tortured, wiretapping our phones, detaining people without trial, and a whole bunch of other things that I’m pretty sure violate the Golden Rule.
Now as good as all this is, there’s still more. Mike was concerned that folks may not know that Democrats were behind 9/11. To help us remember, he decided to put up this handy reminder in his right wing extremist enclave hometown of Orlando:
I know that I’m going to listen to him — after all, he said please. Polite and all. And having been in NYC on 9/11, I can vouch that Al Qaeda pilots didn’t fly those planes into the World Trade Center. Nope — they were Democrats.
So congratulations Mike, enjoy your Brickalot… to the head.
Hat tip: Think Progress